Once you are engaged and set a date, you’ll look at the world differently. Everyone you see will be either involved in the wedding or not involved. Obviously family and close friends will be invited to the wedding, while your neighbors won’t. But, how do you let the people you see everyday at work know they aren’t invited – or worse, the select few at work you left off the guest list?
Before you start inviting and not inviting your coworkers, there are a few things you’ll want to keep in mind.
You Can’t Invite Everyone
Coworkers should be last on your list of invitees to the wedding. Yes, you see them everyday at work, but unless they’re close friends that you also see frequently outside of work, you’re not obligated to invite them. Most likely you have a wedding budget and that budget relies on a maximum guest count. After family and friends (from both bride and groom sides) you may not have any wiggle room to invite coworkers – and they will understand.
You’re Not Obligated to Invite Your Boss
A lot of couples assume they should invite their bosses to their weddings, but this isn’t true. Just because your supervisor or manager asks about the date doesn’t mean they are implying they should go. In fact, most bosses prefer to not be invited for multiple reasons – it may look like preferential treatment for one.
So How Do You Let Coworkers Down?
Letting coworkers down isn’t easy. But, to make it gentler on them, be nice and say you’re having a “small wedding” – even if you’re inviting 200 people. It is nicer and easier for your coworkers to accept that than you saying you just cannot invite everyone. Do thank your coworkers for their excitement and interest, however. And, seem genuine when you let them down.
If you feel that you cannot do this face to face then drop a quick group email to your co workers to let them know the date and that the wedding will be small, here is a template you can use.
Hi Team, So I just wanted to drop you all a quick email to let you know our date for our wedding has been confirmed as xx/xx/2015. We decided that we are going to keep the wedding really small and intimate and due to that fact I would love it if we could all get together before the wedding for some drinks or a meal to help me celebrate? I was thinking the xxx bar / restaurant at xxx Please let me know if you can make it and I Look forward to seeing you there. The Bride xxx
What if You’re Inviting a Few Coworkers?
It is usually best to not invite any coworkers if you cannot invite them all. But, if you have some good friends at work, you will obviously want them at the wedding. Give them their invitations, but let them know that not everyone at work was invited; therefore, ask them if they can keep it to themselves. This will prevent any animosity between your other coworkers who weren’t invited.